Gods, An Epidemic: Preamble

{warning:  contains strong language, if you're not an adult and don't have one's permission,

go read somewhere else}

In Hebrew there is a one-letter difference between

the words “wonderful” and “fucked.”

Liminality is walking the line between two states of existence;

In other words, it is the holding of that aforementioned letter for ransom.


Gods can be forgetful too. You try living forever, and see if you’re memory doesn’t overload and short circuit once in a while; and not the kind of memory lapses that result in missing a dental appointment either. No. Think bigger.

W i d e r . More… infinite. Brain farts of colossal proportions.

Like, forgetting that you exist.

Gods make sense of things. The natural state of our universe is complete chaos. Things naturally don’t make any sense at all, until a god gets a handle on it. The earth really did used to be flat until a god figured out that it didn’t make sense.

Gods and Goddesses are, as a general rule, immortal. But they can hardly be expected to maintain the same form of existence in perpetuity. It is incomprehensibly boring to be infinite and all-knowing all of the time – one must do something to while away the hours, and what better way to entertain oneself than to experience life as a mortal? Little else gives life more value than death itself; or at least, the certain knowledge of impending doom that shadows all living creatures of non-immortal persuasion. The promise of death kills boredom and meaninglessness like nothing else can; except perhaps for falling in love or having really good sex. The gods had a firm handle on the love and sex thing, so it was only natural that Death was their last bastion of intrigue.

Which is where The Incarna Corporation, comes in to play. Arguably the single most successful corporation of all time, they developed a technology to provide immortals with a Real Mortal Experience, or, “L.I.F.E. 3D” (Limiting Ineffability For Experiencing 3D.) They realized that in order to feel the absoluteness that is death, immortals must be made to forget their very nature – for part of their nature is Time itself, an additional dimension not experienced in the same sense by mere 3-dimensional mortals. Also, there must be a means of recording The L.I.F.E. in 3D to then prove to the immortal, after their Experience was complete, that it had actually happened. It was complicated, but Incarna figured it out beautifully. First step: de-dimensionalize the deity, by a factor of one.  Second step: encapsulate most of the deities’ essence into a single 3-D atom, or ‘seed’ (keeping just enough essence safe and secure at Incarna, to prevent the whole incarnating-yourself-out-of-existence conundrum.) Third step: plant the ‘seed’ in an earthling host (man, animal, plant, etc.) for purposes of recording events and life experiences in the 3-D world. Lastly, once the earthling host died, the ‘seed’ would be released and return to Incarna of it’s own volition (the source of all ‘ghost’ sightings, by the way – a side effect on human culture that Incarna researchers had not foreseen, but determined was largely harmless if not entirely humorous.) Upon the return of the ‘seed,’ it would be re-united with the remainder of god essence from whence it came, incorporating this L.I.F.E. 3D into the immortal’s history.

Incarna’s net worth, at their height of prosperity, reached truly incalculable sums. At it’s peak, the only form of payment acceptable, were stars themselves. And the rate at which they were raking it in, explains the unholy mess they made of this universe – stars thrown willy-nilly all over the place. Other universes point to ours as a warning; and we’re often referred to as ‘The pig sty of the multiverse.’

Before there was the ever-popular ‘Murphy’s Law,’ there existed (and still exists) the Law of the Infinite – ‘Morpheus’s Law’ which states, “Anyone who believes that ‘anything that can go wrong, will go wrong’ is an optimist.”

This is due to the existence of a lesser known sub-law that says the resulting ‘going wrong’ is exponentially proportionally opposite to how ‘going right’ the thing was in the first place.

Incarna was going really, really ‘right.’

It had been a long night, Gaia had only gotten a couple hours of sleep, what with the crying and all over that lying, cheating, scum. How dare he! She, the Mother of all Mothers, Titan of the Earth; she who had brought forth the starry sky itself! She from whom the Seas “without sweet union of love” had sprung! As she stormed through the massive pearly gates leading to Incarna’s headquarters – everyone was careful to get well out of her way.

L.I.F.E. 3D had gotten so popular, anyone who was anyone was doing it, that only a few gods remained to hold down the fort, namely: Gaia, Hades, the aforementioned ‘scum’, and Aphrodite. The remainder of the population was comprised of minor and unpopular deities, demi-gods, angels and other mythological characters.

Hades, despite popular belief, was really quite a nice guy; something of a yogi, actually. Death and evil rarely go hand-in-hand, as is the common mortal view; his idea of the afterlife had more to do with healing and learning from the trials and tribulations of life rather than some judgment of good or bad and punishment or reward.

Aphrodite, in alignment with all popular belief, really was the embodiment of love, lust and beauty.

In other words, she was a girl’s worst nightmare – and this was before Morals were invented and waaaaaaaay before Marriage (a good April Fool’s joke that just isn’t funny anymore) and anyway, Hades was the last god in Heaven…

You do the math. Gaia did.

Though Hell may have no fury like a woman scorned – Heaven did that day.

In the end (and what an end) Gaia banished all gods, demi or otherwise, mythical creatures – everyone, except for the angels. All the exiles that had once called heaven home, would forevermore have to have their mail forwarded to their new permanent address here on Earth. She locked the gates and hid the keys, forbidding the return of any even remotely immortal beings.

The fate of the banished ones, would be to reincarnate over and over, ad nauseum; ignorant of the fact that the better part of their ‘being’ was trapped in a vault under lock and key; their ‘seeds,’ unable to return home, would simply fall back to earth, aimless and nameless unless absorbed by another host.

Wounded and raw, emotional and drunk on power, Gaia stomped around the heavens for days in utter silence; which everyone knows is far scarier than the rantings of anger.

Finally on the 4th day, she began to laugh. The kind of laugh that isn’t funny. The kind that warns of evil plots hatching; such as… the Bible and the eradication of polytheism. There would be One God. And as the cherry on top of her Sundae-of-Wrath – was the promise of a Spectacular Apocalypse: Blood, MayheM, Locusts, WAR. Grrrrrr.

And with that, God (formerly known as Gaia) went to rest in what would now be called “The Kingdom of God”, satisfied at a job well done.

What she didn’t take into consideration however, was that slow moving force known as Evolution – which had the potential to come back and bite her in her divine ass; only Time would tell.

The Bible says in II Peter 3:8, “…that one day is with the Lord as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day.”

When you are a 4th dimensional being, time actually is of your essence, so you can do with it as you please.

For the next 2,000 years (a mere 2 days for Her) the inhabitants of the Earth passed away the time in various meaningful yet utterly useless pursuits – for it would not turn out alright in the end, and it would all end very, very soon.

On Earth, some 2,000 years later, Eve woke up thinking “blue.”

It was a fleeting thought, soon overshadowed by a deeper, more urgent one: “coffee.” And in this state of semi-consciousness, she shuffled out to the kitchen to start the coffee all the while her bladder screamed to go to the bathroom.

Funny word, that. Blue. Buh-uhl-ewwww. Blew. It could be a color, or something you did to a balloon, or the guy you met at the bar last night. It could denote failure ‘oh, I really blew that one’; or ‘that blew-up in my face’; or the more violent “blew-up” as in … KA-BOOM.

“Blue eyed devil.

Born to be a God among Salesmen.

Working the skinny tie.

Slugging down fruit juice.

Extra tall extra wide…”

Coffee in hand, she grabbed her laptop and went outside to smoke. Sit, sip, light, suck, blow… email. Usual junk, a ‘helpful’ hint from mom that cleaning the top of your can-opener can improve it’s performance – thanks mom, never thought of that, and will probably never do anything about it - another chain-letter from her aging father, sent on a multi-times-per-day basis – delete –  and…

You’re a Winner!!!

You’ve just won an All Expense Paid trip to Outer Space!!! –

More spam, spam, spam - how do they keep getting her email address? Delete.

She stubbed out her cigarette and closed the laptop with a ‘fwap’ that resonated unnaturally in her currently delicate state of mind. As per her usual morning ritual, Eve cut her trusty deck of Tarot cards and looked at the card of inspiration for the day…The Fool. Hmpf. She did not feel like The Fool today, not today…she shuffled and cut again…The Fool. Hmm, it’s gonna be one of those kind of days. Got it. She put the cards away, sat back, wrapping her robe a little more snuggly around her neck and stared out into the garden that surrounded her little abode. As her gaze fell on nothing in particular, she became ensconced in the still and in the quiet space; noticing for the first time just how dark and cloudy it was. Tut tut, it looks like rain… she thought, as she was lulled to sleep again by the gentle breeze and dead silence that engulfed her.


by, tracy yarkoni odell